Yesterday morning, FEMA delivered my mom's trailer. Yesterday evening, the a/c guy installed the condenser fan and my mom had a/c for the house. Anyone slightly familiar with construction will know that you shouldn't run your a/c while working on the house, with recirculating dust, etc. Right you shouldn't. My mom is pretty much finished with her house with the exception of some punchlist items that need to be cleared up and selecting flooring.
I could rant, but it's no need. Spike Lee's new documentary to be aired on HBO on the 21,22 and re-peated in entirety on the 29th will say a lot. It's just funny cause my mom joked that she'd probably get her trailer when the house was complete. Watch what you say, right?
I bless God's name right now because she's doing what so many folk have not been (will not be?) able to do--rebuild. Even moreso, parents, children, family and other loved ones were lost and I have the ability to visit mine.
I remember how struck I was when I learned that it was flooding so badly. The evening of the day after Katrina hit, my aunt called to see if I had spoken to anybody and I was nonchalant, saying how it would probably be a day or so before lines of communication cleared up. Growing up through hurricanes, it was routine to ride it out unless we wanted to run up to Mississippi by family. Since my mom was going up there, I thought no more about it. Went to sleep the night of and woke up the next day, as usual. Fortunately/unfortunately I was at the library by the computer when my aunt called. My thoughts stalled as I scanned through the stories. Of course later I spoke to more folk and I was enraged at what I was hearing; especially discrepancies between the news and actual accounts. To hear about all of the stories of folk wildin' out as the PRIMARY theme was most disturbing.
True colors show.
One of the things that helped me cope was knowing that God was working things out. "Live by faith and not by sight" was/is my motto. It's important that we do not doubt His abilities. Can't wait on chance or luck or other elements of iffi-ness.
Boys learned to be men. Men learned how to be husbands. Parents learned how to be mothers and fathers. We learned not to depend on local, state or national government. We learned that it's possible to survive without jobs--not necessarily in favorable conditions, but it's possible. We learned what it meant to be a community.
As with life, we learn and forget sometimes. Hopefully we can go back and remember. People will trip out on August 29th when the block parties jump off. Katrina isn't a day to celebrate, most will say. Some folk don't understand how important it is to be happy for what you have until it is much too late. Once its gone though, what to do? Mourn the loss forever or push forward. It's not a matter of not caring. It's a matter of living.
This post is some therapy for me because the same time a year prior to Katrina, I lost my life, my world. I've mourned. Now's time for my own block party.
Okay, I rambled off just now. lol. I'll never "let go" of that woman, anyway.
It is important that we remember situations like Katrina, how with all of the things that people went through, they are provided for. Situations may not be peachy but things are being worked out.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Friday, August 11, 2006
Brother from another mother
In light of the latest post by a blogger, Phil, on extended families, I'm gonna talk about one of my brothers. I was an only child in a single-parent home. I had both of em {parents, that is} round me til I was 4 but then momz finally said ENUF (consequently, I'm dealing with {read: acknowledge the reality of} my own split a lil better...but I digress). As with anybody hurt/frustrated turned vindictive, popz announced the presence of my brother. Of course, I wasn't privy to this information for a few more years until I was visiting with the paternal kinfolk.
I still can't remember exactly how it came out to me or what my reaction was. My p-kinfolk tend to preface certain announcements with "you know...[so n so][this happened or happening], [etc]" so that had to be somewhere in the mix. But we were between 8 - 11; really can't remember. We'll both be 31 this year (just hit my mark a couple days ago). We kicked it for a day and that was that. It's possible that other days that summer we got together, but my memory fails me here. My cousins and aunts knew him and all, so thankfully he wasn't cast to the side, but as with anybody we do have the tendency to estrange folk sometimes. But we're supposed to know stuff that's going on, though. smh
Through the years, we got to kick it the weekend of our grandmother's funeral (15) and I ran into him on Alcorn State University's campus while I was visiting (23 or so). In the most recent years, we've taken it upon ourselves to stay in touch and it's been a true blessing. Of course, we don't have the history that growing pains bring, but the bond is real nonetheless and we love each other as such.
Family functions always find me amazed at the amount of before-unknown relatives and their relative locations. I continue to stress to myself that you take life from this day forward, so I appreciate my life experiences. Of course, as Jay-Z once said, "you have to live with regrets." Just can't use that as an excuse to repeat what I regret.
I would hope that, when possible, parents allow and encourage kids to know their siblings. What is a half-brother/sister? If I recognize my aunt's husband's daughter from another woman as family, how much more should I one that shares some of the same DNA structure as myself?
I still can't remember exactly how it came out to me or what my reaction was. My p-kinfolk tend to preface certain announcements with "you know...[so n so][this happened or happening], [etc]" so that had to be somewhere in the mix. But we were between 8 - 11; really can't remember. We'll both be 31 this year (just hit my mark a couple days ago). We kicked it for a day and that was that. It's possible that other days that summer we got together, but my memory fails me here. My cousins and aunts knew him and all, so thankfully he wasn't cast to the side, but as with anybody we do have the tendency to estrange folk sometimes. But we're supposed to know stuff that's going on, though. smh
Through the years, we got to kick it the weekend of our grandmother's funeral (15) and I ran into him on Alcorn State University's campus while I was visiting (23 or so). In the most recent years, we've taken it upon ourselves to stay in touch and it's been a true blessing. Of course, we don't have the history that growing pains bring, but the bond is real nonetheless and we love each other as such.
Family functions always find me amazed at the amount of before-unknown relatives and their relative locations. I continue to stress to myself that you take life from this day forward, so I appreciate my life experiences. Of course, as Jay-Z once said, "you have to live with regrets." Just can't use that as an excuse to repeat what I regret.
I would hope that, when possible, parents allow and encourage kids to know their siblings. What is a half-brother/sister? If I recognize my aunt's husband's daughter from another woman as family, how much more should I one that shares some of the same DNA structure as myself?
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Hypocrisy of our Democracy
That line continues to ring out in my head when I think of Chris Rock. Who woulda thought that lil skinny cat talkin' bout "Good Laawwwd!!! Datz a lot of money!!!" would grow to the stature that he is and speak on the level that he does. Anyway, shouts to C-Roc. If you haven't seen his latest (few years old now) stand-ups, you might want to.
I wanted to speak out on my hypocritical ways, though. As with anyone, it's easy to get on a soapbox and talk about change, but a lot of times that leads to a lotta yackin and no ack'n. I pray to not get beside myself as I continue this journey.
It's amazing how we are constantly afforded a chance to step up to the plate of change. With an ongoing bout with the toker in me, I've amazed myself with how easy I avoid/disregard any prior decisions to leave it be. I was reading another blog and the blogger made references (with a twist) to addiction. Now I'll be the first to say that I'm for legalization, but this is deeper than that for me. I would go into health concerns, being that my body is the temple of God, but I understand that we are living in a polluted world. I would mention the mind-altering effect that leads me to think differently from before, but that's like alcohol. I'm not taking away from those facts, just want to get to my point.
See, I have issues with crack, heroine, pills, etc. This stuff is KILLING and destroying folk, not to mention tearing down communities. All for greed, as I see it. Only thing is, with the exception of certain routes and origination points, what I want is in the same pipeline as the otha stuff. Trick Daddy said it on an album, can't remember which, "Drug money got blood on it...even a little residue...I'm tellin u."
In today's rap, most would accept the fact that a lot of references are made to the coke factory and indie-pharmaceutical operations out there. Please don't let the reference to rap make it singled out in your minds. I'm only using it as a reference since a lot of rap reflects the realities of life in urban America (not to mention outside). It's unfortunate that with all of the losses and loss of life tied into this system, we continue to be dependent upon it. I'm not one to knock anutha's hustle but using one of Dave Chappelle's story lines, there's a point when keeping it real goes wrong. Dope is far from new but the evolution of it all is SCARY. Anybody remember the minister speaking at the end of Belly?
In this day and age, we talk about this capitalist society and how it oppresses us and yet we tend to live for that "Meeeaaannnn...meeeeaaaaaannn, mean green...Almighty Dollar!" [O' Jays]
**I have the notorious habit of rambling--i tend to call it rambleIzation. Bear with me.**
I think about how the world has always been based on trade. I think about how you open a newspaper or turn on the tv and you have ads showing and telling you what you want. I think about the two dollars people send along with a self-addressed stamped envelope in hopes of entering into a business. I think about cable, utility, and insurance companies setting higher prices but not sharing profits (they'll share a loss, though!). I think about civil rights activists fighting for living conditions fit for human beings and yet many years later you find some of the shoddiest arrangements ever. [oops, rambling again...or am I?]
We are "struggling" to make it, yet we have kids learning to pledge allegiance to a flag, lying through their baby teeth! "...One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all" Nah, it just don't seem right. But speaking against the norm is supposed to be wrong. This is just the reality of life, right? Probably so, but it does not have to remain this way. I know that God speaks to all people and we recognize the need to reach out to others [read: love].
There will come a time where the IRA won't have the importance it had as in the beginning. That bonus a salesman received from pushing a lemon won't be so fulfilling. That business acquisition that increased capabilities (while subsequently eliminating jobs at the acquired company) just won't seem feasible.
Our individual lives are not more important than the lives of others. We have a God-given responsibility to love one another. I'll try to remember that from now on out. Like I said, I've been a hypocrit also.
I wanted to speak out on my hypocritical ways, though. As with anyone, it's easy to get on a soapbox and talk about change, but a lot of times that leads to a lotta yackin and no ack'n. I pray to not get beside myself as I continue this journey.
It's amazing how we are constantly afforded a chance to step up to the plate of change. With an ongoing bout with the toker in me, I've amazed myself with how easy I avoid/disregard any prior decisions to leave it be. I was reading another blog and the blogger made references (with a twist) to addiction. Now I'll be the first to say that I'm for legalization, but this is deeper than that for me. I would go into health concerns, being that my body is the temple of God, but I understand that we are living in a polluted world. I would mention the mind-altering effect that leads me to think differently from before, but that's like alcohol. I'm not taking away from those facts, just want to get to my point.
See, I have issues with crack, heroine, pills, etc. This stuff is KILLING and destroying folk, not to mention tearing down communities. All for greed, as I see it. Only thing is, with the exception of certain routes and origination points, what I want is in the same pipeline as the otha stuff. Trick Daddy said it on an album, can't remember which, "Drug money got blood on it...even a little residue...I'm tellin u."
In today's rap, most would accept the fact that a lot of references are made to the coke factory and indie-pharmaceutical operations out there. Please don't let the reference to rap make it singled out in your minds. I'm only using it as a reference since a lot of rap reflects the realities of life in urban America (not to mention outside). It's unfortunate that with all of the losses and loss of life tied into this system, we continue to be dependent upon it. I'm not one to knock anutha's hustle but using one of Dave Chappelle's story lines, there's a point when keeping it real goes wrong. Dope is far from new but the evolution of it all is SCARY. Anybody remember the minister speaking at the end of Belly?
In this day and age, we talk about this capitalist society and how it oppresses us and yet we tend to live for that "Meeeaaannnn...meeeeaaaaaannn, mean green...Almighty Dollar!" [O' Jays]
**I have the notorious habit of rambling--i tend to call it rambleIzation. Bear with me.**
I think about how the world has always been based on trade. I think about how you open a newspaper or turn on the tv and you have ads showing and telling you what you want. I think about the two dollars people send along with a self-addressed stamped envelope in hopes of entering into a business. I think about cable, utility, and insurance companies setting higher prices but not sharing profits (they'll share a loss, though!). I think about civil rights activists fighting for living conditions fit for human beings and yet many years later you find some of the shoddiest arrangements ever. [oops, rambling again...or am I?]
We are "struggling" to make it, yet we have kids learning to pledge allegiance to a flag, lying through their baby teeth! "...One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all" Nah, it just don't seem right. But speaking against the norm is supposed to be wrong. This is just the reality of life, right? Probably so, but it does not have to remain this way. I know that God speaks to all people and we recognize the need to reach out to others [read: love].
There will come a time where the IRA won't have the importance it had as in the beginning. That bonus a salesman received from pushing a lemon won't be so fulfilling. That business acquisition that increased capabilities (while subsequently eliminating jobs at the acquired company) just won't seem feasible.
Our individual lives are not more important than the lives of others. We have a God-given responsibility to love one another. I'll try to remember that from now on out. Like I said, I've been a hypocrit also.
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